And you say to yourself "this is not my beautiful wife..." (which has no consequence to anything 'cept the song is stuck in my head.)
Continuing.
1. I MUST move out. My parents are wonderful, nurturing, supporting people who cook me very Diet Friendly meals and frequently leave me alone on weekends…but, um, DECORATING must commence. My obsession for antique milk glass and SAUCERS is in full swing. I will have no Ikea in Mi Casa. It’s all old..all the time. (Which would have so irked You Know Who, Mr. Modern.)
2. I need a laptop and DSL. Pronto.
3. And a Tivo. I miss my sweet-sweet-Tivo and his constant supply of Law & Order (which my parents don’t watch and I don’t have cable in “my room.”)
4. I’m 30 (ok, 29) therefore there should be no “my room.”
5. On that note, I think I know where I want to live. In Old Sac. A touristy state park. Yes. But also home to the highest concentration of bars (ahem, MEN) and also walking distance to work. Plus. Cheap. And the apartments are cute and New Orleans styled with a courtyard. I’m thinking April or May.
6. Or maybe I’ll live in mid-town again. Either way – moving is priority.
7. Wish fucking Bitch General Manager (from now on known as BGM) would give me back my time off slips so I can book airfare to SPOKANE. And then VEGAS.
8. BGM sucks.
9. But I dig my job and enjoy having actual shit to do during the day.
10. Such as, answering a call from the ditz manager of the Gap ‘cuz like, her like, um, like, garbage, was like, um, full, and like, what should she do….like. (Take a running jump off the Tower Bridge into the cold icy waters of the Sac River…like.) No wonder Miss Like is manager of the, like, Gap.
11. Ugh.
12. Missing him? On a scale of 1 to 10? How about a .00003. As in, to borrow from Miss Like of the Gap, “like not much.”
13. OK, running with the “like” gag a bit long here.
14. And, in closing and to wrap up this BS, I hate this keyboard and must get a laptop, DSL, own apartment, cat of smallish size (and well box trained,) trip to Adult Store, and flights ‘round the West.
