So I won't be around much. First, I'm training a temp at my desk and while she is sweet and helpful she Does Not Shut Up. I'm not looking forward to a week of this - she's been through a gazillion times worse divorce, motorcyle accident, and financial woes. I'm sympathetic, considering my current situation, but there comes a point to Stop Talking.

And she's a food pusher. Which I hate. I don't want one of your home made cookies. A. I'm fat. B. I have NO appetite. Leave me alone.

I'm officially in the Depression stage of grief. Which is good, as next comes acceptance. But I'm also having to deal with doing a million "moving things," quitting my job, transitioning my life, and packing up ALL MY SHIT. And it's a LOT. God it's soooo much. It's overwhelming. And, of course, the fuking ex-to-be-in-laws filled up the dumpster so I don't have any place to dump all my trash. Can't they understand I'm moving, I'm throwing things out, save your gardening trash for two weeks from now.

Won't miss them.

So I'm donating a ton of old clothing to a women's shelter helping out women escaping abusive relationships. While this is good (and thanks to The Temp) I'm going to have to drive to Hollywood one night after work do drop it all off. Not what I'm looking forward to, cuz' I AINT GOT THE TIME.

Grrrrr.

Lastly. I'm just in a weird place. And while Neko saved me this weekend many many times - I'm feeling just too much stuff at once. I realize this is probably for the best, but I still love him dearly. I fear I'll never meet another man I love more. That's scary. And I don't want to be alone - there I said it.

My parents are also at this stage I think. They're not so "up" about things as they were at first - trying to keep me from putting my head in the oven. And they're not young - while I could load a whole u-haul myself and drive up there and unpack in one day - they're going to need several. So things will be sitting in trucks at hotel stop overs. And, ahhhhhhh, what if something got stolen. I already feel Too Much Loss.

And while I'm looking forward to their company, I really do wish I was moving straight into a place of my own. But I can't really do that until I figure out The Work Thing.

And I haven't heard back from the guy about my job up north. If/what/when and such are things I just don't want to have to be worrying about. Tell me where to go and when to show up and how much I'll be making - thank you.

It's stress, depression (oh, so muhc of that), not sleeping, dread and worries of moving, and the fear of Will I Be Employed. Plus it's COLD as fuck in here - why must they super cool w/ the AC? And the temp Won't Shut Up.