Things I’m realizing…

I’ll never have to haul tons of grocery bags up the driveway and then up the stairs while the plastic bags chew into my fingers (while he sits inside playing Xbox) – ever again.

I’ve always been slightly envious of the Single Girls around me and here on DLand – now I get to be one.

Remember how before the wedding I used to say that I never saw myself as getting married and being a “bride” was a really weird experience. Yeah, obviously I was telling myself something.

Our wedding was a really rather a HUGE disaster and our honeymoon we were both SICK as DOGS. Was the universe trying to tell us something?

He could be so damn inflexible sometimes.

I was always irritated when he’d be rude to wait staff at a restaurant. Normally he was nice, but if he was in a bad mood he could be a real ass.

No matter what I did recently I wasn’t going to make him happy and it’s been causing me a lot of stress – I’m going to slowly start getting over that.

He didn’t want to do stuff with me! It’s like “DUH!” If I’d suggest we just get out of the house and go to a bar, find some music to listen to or something – he’d only do it if his friends called. But to do it with just me? Nope. Not interested. I’m always reading about bands that people go to see or such and we’d never do that stuff ‘cause he didn’t want to.

We couldn’t really talk anymore. It was like pulling teeth.

We SHOULD have gotten some counseling, maybe it could have been saved. But I’m beginning to doubt it. Part of the loss I feel is the loss of the guy I fell in love with and the guy I married – who has changed a TON the last two years.

What’s that thing about when women get married they look older? Recently I’ve been told by people that they thought I was younger than I am. Odd.

Before we got engaged and had been house-sitting at his parent’s place things had been pretty damn unhappy. I recall I was actually kind of close to calling it off if things didn’t change. Then he asked me to marry him on that beautiful island with a big ass diamond and I, of course, said yes. I recall still being a little unsure but telling myself that now things were gonna get better.

Stooooooopid.

His parent’s are nuts and I won’t have to deal with their Bullshit again. Yeah!

I was always buying new perfumes hoping I’d find one that he found tempting and wonderful – he’d never comment.

He stopped telling me he thinks I’m beautiful months ago. I don’t even remember the last time. He used to tell me all the time. He also stopped trying to grab my ass when I walked by – not exactly romantic, but telling.