First, is it a conspiracy or simply some sort of passive aggressive behavior on the behalf of the café employees, why can’t I get a sandwich with the ingredients spread remotely evenly? I ordered what has to be one of the simplest sandwiches ever conceived – turkey on sourdough, not toasted, with just mayo and mustard. That’s it! Yet what they give me is a sandwich with turkey piled up on one side and mayo slathered heavily on the other, so one side is a dry turkey sandwich and the other is a freakin’ MAYO sandwich. And the mustard? I’m not sure it was actually there. I shudder to think what would happen with something more complicated, like tomatoes. Oy. If I must rebuild my sandwich when I get back to my desk what was the purpose in buying the damn thing.

I really must start bringing my own stupid lunch.

(However I think I now understand the whole Subway sandwich university shtick. Apparently these things are much more complicated than I ever realized. I’ve been making even sandwiches for years on my own, maybe I’m an idiot savant of cold cuts and bread.)

Second, will Dior slather their name on ANYTHING? A candle? Puhhhhlease. http://images.eluxury.com/assets_server/product/10378533/p10378533_ph_hero.jpg If anyone actually bought it at the purchase price of $65 I’d like to know who they are? They’ve got money to burn, apparently, so I’d like them to buy me a little house on Ambergris Caye and fill up a nice little offshore account for me. Thank you.

Third…It’s 80 degrees or so here in LA today. But in my office? Try about 15 below. You just can’t type with mittens on, guess I won’t be getting a lot of work done.

Finally. My Christmas shopping for the “difficult family types” is completed. Go me. All done with extreme thrift, but done none the less. I’m buying these for myself as a reward: http://www.zappos.com/images/935/7130935/1729-90659-d.jpg