Thanks you for everyone’s support and kind words. While I appreciate it more than words can say I also feel a little bad because I know what it’s like to read someone’s diary and see that they’re going through something and not be able to help. It’s just that I’m in a situation right now that is either going to get a lot worse or is going to take a while to heal and improve. And I’ll probably shouldn’t be airing it on the www – but it’s sort of beside the point by now.

I just can’t quickly feel better. If I were able to face what’s been going on and say, “eh, no big, whatever. My husband’s ditching me. 8 years down the drain. Bah. So how’s the weather?” I think there’d be something wrong.

I’m trying and some days it’s easier to be lighthearted. Other days I’m wallowing in self-absorption. Please understand that I’m trying to work through what’s going on in my life and my diary just happens to be one of the places I’m working through it. Maybe the only place actually. Because I don’t have anyone near me to talk about this with – though I’m considering maybe seeing a counselor or therapist. In the meantime, I apologize for entry after entry of “oh poor me.” I’m not asking for sympathy. And I can see how it could be really boring/irritating/repetitive to read my bullshit – and I’m not asking anyone too.

I’m just getting out what’s bothering me. Like confession. And I feel better and sometimes have a clearer picture about what’s going on.

I’m glad this diary is locked. It’s my refuge at the moment.

On a lighter note…Neko and Princess both asked what Stella is and it’s Stella Artois beer. Nothing that exciting. Just plain ol’ beer. Beer I really like and beer I hope to be drinking in about 9 hours.

And now I gotta pee. Happy Friday.